I wasn’t prepared for a hike in my dress coat and boots. But I was in the neighborhood of my favorite park and needed a dose of nature after the disappointing rain all weekend.

Wrapping my coat more closely around me, my hair swirling in the wind — I wished I had a hat and scarf — I preceded down the pier, mesmerized by the dense, swiftly moving clouds.

And then the sun peaked out.

A stream of light.

Sparkles dancing on the water.

A warmth that enveloped me.

Oh glorious light.

More poignant after a day of rain.

The sunshine felt so good, I almost wanted to lay down on the pier and just soak it up!

I didn’t, but I held the lesson close to my heart — sunshine changes everything. Light makes a difference.

2024 Reflection and Word of the Year

I loved this moment even more because over the past few weeks I’ve been landing on my word of the year as “light.”

Do you choose a word of the year? I like to think of it more as a theme. It’s not something I draw out of a hat, but start praying about towards the end of the year.

This is now the 8th year I’ve chosen one, and I can think back over each one and how God worked through the theme in my life. I first began the practice almost a decade ago when I first joined a support group — and I confess, I was skeptical. Not anymore.

I’ve seen how prayer and discernment, and growing intimacy with God, can lead to the word and theme that needs attention in my heart and life.

One year it was “loved,” “grow,” and “forgive” recently too.

It’s less pressure than goals — even though I still think that’s important, too. It’s a hope and a prayer. It’s a heart posture to grow and look for threads in our stories.

And this year for me, I’ve been led to “light.” There are a lot of reasons — for one, I struggle with shame, and just in the last few months of the year, that reared it’s ugly head a few times. It dawned on me that “light” can be an antidote to shame. And there’s also an open-endedness to each year’s word to see what God will do with it too. I love everything about light — if you’ve followed any of my photography I hope you’ve seen that, so I wonder what that could mean for 2024?!

I know that “manifesting” is a popular practice, but I’ll just bluntly say that’s not what this. It’s a reliance on God, and quite frankly more responsibility for myself.

I could “manifest” heath, but if I don’t exercise and eat well, that’s not going to happen.

I could “manifest” safety, but I can’t control the other drivers on the road.

No, I have to offer “light” up to God — and do the work myself to look for light and let it change me.

It will be exciting to see — I’ve already had some spiritual warfare that has shown me that there’s something to this for me in this new year. I appreciate any prayers — and would love to do the same for you!

All Things New in 2023

Important to this process is continual remembering, so I’ve also been reflecting on 2023’s word — “new.” I was resolved to do things in a new way in my life — in particular to challenge old thought patterns and habits.

And oh, I was challenged. In ways I didn’t expect.

And I can truly look back, and say I’m learning. I’m growing. I’ve got a long way to go but I’m shedding some old patterns — and we’ll see what “light” adds to that this year!

What did you learn in 2023?

Annual reflection is more than a yearly rhythm. It’s a ritual that helps me see the bigger picture. I’ve gone through some painful and devastating experiences over the last decade. When I think of the new year six years ago, when I was going through a divorce, I was entering a season when I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t think life could ever get better and that I’d be stuck in pain forever.

Here in January 2024, life has changed and holds much good for me. Those previous words I mentioned were intentional and needed! I still carry grief with me each day, and the scars of PTSD from those experiences, yet 2023 was a year that I could see an acceleration of growth. Of NEW life. And along the way, people have been central to my healing, and this past year shined a bright “light” on that — how relationships and community are essential to my well-being and flourishing.

And isn’t that what we’re all longing for — connection, safety, and to be known and loved?

We all need “households” to belong to — that’s how Andy Crouch describes this in his latest book, “The Life We’re Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World.” (I just finished this book and highly recommend!) That doesn’t necessarily mean a family (although it can be), but more broadly, connected communities that care about each person.

We all carry trauma and trials — not just our own, but our ancestors — and loneliness can lead down dark paths. Yet the relationships that are fostered in “households” — where love is at the center — can bring us back to life. “How many generations can be shaped by one household who gather around a table, recognize one another, and send one another out into the world?”

I’m so grateful for the people who’ve loved me along the way (first and foremost my parents and family and the household they’ve provided in so many seasons of life), and for new communities, too. And there have been so many others along the way.

People have hurt me in grave ways too — you’ll see me write about this as well. Yet I’m here to say as 2024 begins, that relationships have been a great source of healing.

That doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle with loneliness, I do. Yet I can find safety in these households I’m a part of, and that is a great comfort. It’s a security to search for the “new,” for the “light.”

If you’ve never tried it, perhaps 2024 is your year to discern a word and theme for the year. And whether you do or don’t, I DO hope your year is filled with the relationships and communities that lift your soul. We’re humans (yes, I’m THAT writer who’s always going to keep banging that drum and remind us of our humanity!) and we need each other. Even if it’s just for a friend to help us navigate our yearly theme! (Starting this practice with a support group was the BEST way to do this! That could be recreated in many different forms — even jsut one accountable friend over coffee.)

All the best, friends in 2024 — and I hope you’re led to where you need to go, and cheered on by people who see you and love you well!

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I’ll also close with this — if this feels too dark, too overwhelming, please reach out. Send me a message and just start with someone. Even strangers on the internet can be a household, too.

I may be longing for LIGHT in my own life, but I want to BE IT too.

Here’s to “light” in 2024!

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