There are days
that whisper 
a dirge
emerging from deep
depths of the soul
where a death 
still haunts 
and the body 
still knows
the hurt
and the hell 
how could it 
forget 
what forever
changed 
your
heart?

remembering 
pulls me 
back to that place
with all expectation 
yet now
I am here
with scars
of the story
and demons that 
drag me
to the days 
of the darkness
still beating 
their 
deafening
drum

the decibels
drive me
out of the door 
where a bird
nonchalantly looks
over at me
then quickly
goes back
to building her nest
when a fellow close by
begins singing a song
of beauty and romance
just lilting away
and his calling
is calming
I can breathe
once 
again

so I sit
in the grass
watching a bee
dance in a dandelion
happy and free
the breeze
blows a welcome
and lilac wafts 
gently
my senses
awaken
defenses 
start breaking
as life
stirs
within

I pick 
a few violets
walk to the trees
little leaves bursting
and brimming 
with green 
look how 
these branches
mere weeks ago 
dead 
they wear 
a new season
they’re ready to live
as home to more 
birdsong 
the melody sweetens 
this world is alive
and I
have
survived

the day 
isn’t different 
the past
hasn’t changed
the sorrow’s still there
but the music of spring
I can hear
like I feel 
sunshine kissing my skin
warming my insides
to feel hope again
and my spirit 
starts whistling
a tune that is new
for a soul
that is
learning 
to let
life
renew